Dear Mom, Dear Daughter: An Open Letter Exchange for Mother’s Day

With Mother’s Day right around the corner, I knew I wanted to do something special for the holiday this year. Instead of a Mother’s Day gift guide or something of the sort here on my blog, I decided to do an open letter exchange with my mom and share it with you. These letters are personal and I hope they help you recognize the blessings a mother figure in your life has given you, and reflect on how he or she has played a role in the making of the person you’ve become today.

Whether written or spoken, words are so incredibly important. Things can often go unsaid, and I think we should all make an effort to vocalize these things, even if it seems totally random and out of left field. I hope that this post encourages each and every one of you to express your love and the value you see in the people close to you.

Here’s my letter to my mom.

There are so many things I’m grateful for in our relationship and having you as a mother.

Looking back on my life, I was incredibly blessed to grow up in a home where my words were heard and I was free to be myself, whoever that may have been. I have you (and Dad) to thank for that. I was encouraged to try new things, and to be open minded and accepting of others. I was taught to be independent and self sufficient, and that it’s okay to play by myself and do my own thing. I was shown how to be kind to others and the importance of helping those less fortunate, as well as how to ask for what I need too. I was taught to have thick skin, that there’s always room for growth and that it’s never too late to start something new.

My favorite memories with you vary because you make everything fun, but most of all I love the small moments we’ve shared together over the years. Whether it’s talking about our days over dinner, seeking advice in each other on our commutes home from work, watching crime TV in your bed, our annual tradition of reading Martin Luther King’s “I Have a Dream,” or volunteering at a domestic violence shelter or Meals on Wheels, our best memories didn’t have to be spent doing anything extravagant — it’s conversations during quality time spent with just the two of us that come to mind the most. You’ve taught me to be a good listener and a supportive person by example, and I hope I’ve been that for you too.

Naturally as mother and daughter, you and I are alike in so many ways. I honestly see more of you in myself every day. We’re both fiercely independent, Type A, assertive, hardworking, go-getters in life and in the workplace, take Christmas tree decorating and coordination very seriously, go-with-the-flow and the peacemakers in most situations. We’re even tempered and hard-to-shake, strong women.

As funny as it sounds, you’re my hype queen. You’re the first one to tell me I’m fully capable of doing anything and everything I want to do, and you’re the first person I call if I ever need a pep talk. I exit all of our conversations, even the quick ones, feeling so much more confident in myself and my abilities. You’ve helped me grow into a women that encourages others, walks confidently through life and pursues my passions without fear of failure.

If I could choose just two additional qualities to inherit from you, one would be your ability to talk to anyone in the room. That may sound simple, but it’s something I really admire so much about you. You can approach any conversation with anyone, and that’s a quality I wish I had. You don’t know a stranger, and if they are one, they aren’t for long. You speak with confidence and poise, and know how to make people feel comfortable. You’re the best hostess I know, always making way too much food and so welcoming to new people that matter to your loved ones.

Second, I admire your ability to overcome adversity. Not coming from a lot growing up or obtaining a college education and instead starting our family by having Logan and I hasn’t inhibited you in a world that tells us these things are “necessary” for success. For some reason, it’s not something everyone can do and some people let that dehabilitate them. I want you to know that I recognize that and see so much value in it, and admire you for it.

You’re incredibly selfless and giving — more than anyone else I know. You’re sensitive to other’s needs and seem to somehow know what someone is in need of before they even realize it themselves. You show up and perform no matter what the occasion is or how you’re feeling, simply because you feel it’s important to the people around you. You’ll drop anything and everything to be there for someone you love. You’re motivational and encouraging, and always helping others get to where they want or need to be, whether it’s by means of tough love or a confidence boost. Even you participating with me in this blog post speaks mountains to your character, and I love you for it.

Last but not least, you’ve taught me how to not only be a great woman, but a great mother one day. I’ve taken note of all the amazing qualities you’ve demonstrated that I hope to inherit from you in my own journey of motherhood. And when that time does come for me, I know I can confidently say, without wavering, that I’ve learned from the best. I know what it’s like to be nurtured and pushed, comforted and encouraged, empathetic and empowered because you’ve led beautifully by example, and I know you’ll help me be the best mom I can be.

Thank you so much for playing such a huge role in the woman I’ve become. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for always supporting me, showing me the way, encouraging me in everything I do and loving me whole heartedly. You are beautiful, kind, strong, selfless and so loving — I truly couldn’t be more blessed to have you not only as a mom, but as a friend and role model too.

Happy Mother’s Day to the best woman I know! I love you!

 

And here’s my mom’s letter to me.

With Mothers Day around the corner, I have been reflecting on what being a mother means to me and what a blessing my children are in my life. Having  you Abby, my daughter, is a joyous responsibility with a bond like no other. A daughter is more than a reflection of their mother, they are the best version, given a wish to be more, go farther, and have opportunities that I never thought possible for myself.

Our first night alone in the hospital I made you a promise.  I would protect you and creatively guide you to think outside of the box, knowing anything was possible. My greatest and most heart wrenching responsibility was for you to one day move out and create your own life that would no longer revolve around me.

Your first taste of responsibility was in tap class. You were so quiet and focused, and yet so small and precious. Your first recital was suppose to be a duet and at the last minute, the other girl had stage fright. In front of a full house, the stage curtains started to open, you could hear the commotion and my heart started to drop — is she ok? Is she scared? She needs me and I am not there. As the curtains opened, I saw you, standing alone in the middle of that large stage in your white and red poko-dot dress, staring right at me. I did my very best to look confident and smiling with encouragement,  whispering “you can do this.” The music started and you completed the entire routine all by yourself and didn’t skip a beat. My heart melted. I was so proud of your courage.

Many years later through the “awkward years” as you would call them, you have blazed your own trail — quietly, yet confidently with wisdom and patience. When you were in college, you started to get restless, you were ready to start the next chapter and ready for the next challenge. During that time we decided to take a trip, just the two of us. We went to Louisville on the fly with absolutely NO plan. Yes, that’s how I roll.

In stating that, looking back, no plan was the best plan. We walked around the city and down by the river and we just talked and we were just present together, debating what will your next challenge be and what creative outlet can you have to feel whole. That night sitting in our hotel suite, you had the moment. This makes me reflect on one of my favorite quotes of all time:

“You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage.  Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery.  And I promise you, something great will come of it.”

You started your blog that night. From scratch, you started to articulate the identity you have always had, but no conduit to express it. Oh my, how you have blossomed. I could not be more proud of you and what a blessing it was to witness those 20 seconds.

I am more than proud of you. I respect and look up to you not just as a daughter, but a woman and role model. You are out on your own and blazing your own trail, and now giving your mother great advice and guidance — giving me the courage to take my 20 seconds. I love you to the moon and back.

With all my love,

__________

Guys, tears are flowing — and I’m in public at my desk at work. I hope these letters inspire you to write a letter to someone in your life that means the world to you, someone who has helped you grow and make your life full. Thanks so much for taking an interest in me and my family, reading this personal post from my mom and I, and supporting my blog. I appreciate you all so much. In spirit of Mother’s Day this weekend, tell the mother figure(s) in your life how much they mean to you.