Let’s Talk: Feeling Misunderstood

Alright you guys, it’s been two months (yikes) since I’ve done a “Let’s Talk” discussion and I’ve been seriously missing them! I feel like these posts have always been my opportunity to open up and be personal with you guys about things that really matter. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good fashion post, but you know what I mean — things that go beyond surface level, you know? Today’s topic is on feeling misunderstood. We’ve all been there and are probably all currently feeling this emotion to some degree. There’s nothing more frustrating than feeling like someone is misconstruing who you are and what intentions you have. Keep reading for my experiences with feeling misunderstood and why I find it’s so important to talk about this.

Feeling misunderstood is one of the top 10 most frustrating feelings because it’s 100% out of your control. That’s right, YOU don’t play any role in this. Whether we admit it or not, we all want everyone to like us, or at least understand us. However, how other people perceive you has nothing to do with you. I know you’re thinking, “is there at least something I can do about it?!”

Nope.

Why am I talking about this today?

You betcha, I’ve felt misunderstood time and time again, just like each of you. Whether it’s when you’re out in public surrounded by strangers, with acquaintances or just having a normal everyday interaction, a lot of us are wondering what the other people are thinking about us, our body language, what we’re saying and how we’re saying it. People make their own perceptions about you from the second you walk in the room. Intimidating, right?

Now, where do I fall in all of this? What about this topic stands out about me personally?

I don’t consider myself a people pleaser (honestly, I’d probably benefit from developing a little more of this mindset though 😂), but I’d be lying if I said I don’t care what other people think of me. I don’t ever want an interaction to be taken the wrong way and I’ve found that the fear of not coming across the way I’d prefer can be stifling. Why say anything at all if it could potentially be taken the wrong way? Perceptions can be made in response to silence too, but I digress.

Let’s be real here. I know I don’t make great first impressions. Even though I can have a good laugh about it, I can’t say this is one of my favorite qualities in myself. Shyness and being reserved can equate to being stuck up and people thinking you don’t like them, when in reality, our personalities are so much more complex than what you can bring to a 2-minute exchange.

So, in what areas of my life do I feel misunderstood?

I’d say I’ve probably felt this pressure the most through my blogging career on social media. If someone perceives me as super social based on watching me talk to the camera alone on my Instagram stories, I don’t want them to be surprised by shy me if we happen to bump into each other in person, you know? I’m not bubbly. I’m not outgoing. I’m shy and reserved when around new people. Being extroverted and chatty with new people is not in my nature. It’s not a conscious decision I make, it’s just who I am. These traits can make newcomers think you’re stuck up or totally rude. *cringe*

Preconceived notions and perceptions play a huge role in feeling misunderstood as well. Back to the blogger example, there’s a certain image that comes to each person’s mind when you say “I’m a blogger,” and one of the toughest pills to swallow for me personally is that I have no control over that. If they don’t know me, that thought of who a blogger is was developed by their past experiences and has nothing to do with who I am. My assumption (and from experience) is they think I’m super into myself, spend way too much money and am crazy bubbly. Wrong, wrong and wrong.

Depending on the person, I think it can be easy to tell when people have the wrong impression of you. It comes out in how they talk to you, body language… the whole shebang. There can be so much pressure when meeting someone new because you don’t want to say the wrong thing or not meet their idea of who they think you are, but the more I think about it, the more I realize it’s impossible to meet those expectations. You are who you are and it’s not your job to make other people get you.

I hope this post serves as a reminder that the only opinion about yourself that matters is your own. Focus on the people you love and let the rest fall to the side because what other people think of you is none of your business. I know that sounds crazy, but it’s something I too have to remind myself of sometimes. I encourage you (and myself, for that matter) to find comfort in knowing the people closest to you in your life know the real you, love who you are and see value in it. I’ve seen so many quotes saying “we were never meant to know this many people” like we do now through the reach of social media, so just keep that in mind when worrying about the thoughts inside all the brains of faces you see flash across your screen.

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Is this something you feel often too? How do you deal with feeling misunderstood? I’d love to continue the conversation in the comments! If you enjoy these discussion posts, you can read the other’s in my Let’s Talk series here. If there’s any other topics you’d like to see featured in a future post like this, let me know & I’d be happy to do them! I plan to do my next one on body image (’cause BOY I’ve got 25 years worth of things to say), so lookout for that. Have a great Wednesday, everyone!