Let’s Talk: Being a New Mom During a Pandemic

Adjusting to motherhood is a huge change, but when you add doing so in a pandemic on top of that, it’s even harder. Like many other first-time moms this year (hello baby boom), I’ve been experiencing two completely new, life-altering things simultaneously. Today’s post is a casual chat all about what it’s like being a new mom during a pandemic, how it’s been different than I’ve always pictured motherhood being, struggles I’ve faced along the way + more.

First things first, I’m incredibly blessed, thankful and overjoyed to be a mother, pandemic or no pandemic. We had been trying to get pregnant for a few months and I found out I was pregnant one week before everything shut down, so I truly had no idea what was to come. I spent the first three months of my pregnancy in lockdown working from home, six of those weeks puking my guts out (and losing 10 lbs in the process) while not letting anyone know that I was pregnant. The only benefit (which was a HUGE benefit) is that quarantine made it much easier to keep my pregnancy under wraps until I was ready to share with family and friends, and I was incredibly lucky to be able to spend those six very sick weeks working from the comfort of my home. I truly don’t know how I would have possibly been able to get myself out of the house and be at the office all day otherwise. Big respect for everyone who has done that!

The beginning of the pandemic was an uncertain time for all of us, but I was distracted by the excitement of my pregnancy and being so sick in my first trimester that I was somewhat removed from it for a bit. As time went on, some mild worries started to set in and I wondered how the pandemic would affect the reactions of people around me when we shared that I was pregnant, as well as doctors’ appointments and the birth of our baby. I was very “it is what it is” about it because I was just so excited to be pregnant, but COVID fears definitely settled in over time and I was fearful of how it could affect my pregnancy if I were to get sick. I was extra cautious (and still am) and I found myself getting frustrated when others weren’t being as careful. The stakes felt so much higher for me and I was aware of that at every second.

Working from home full-time from mid-March to June continued to provide me with feelings of safety health-wise, as well as comfort as a growing pregnant woman (i.e. working from the couch with my feet up or on the bathroom floor, when needed), and I’m grateful for that. Not having to commute 1-1.5 hours total per day in traffic to work also saved us money that we were able to put toward baby stuff and hospital bills, so that was a perk too. This really opened my eyes to the joys of working from home and how much of a blessing it can be financially and as a mother, and I’m not sure when I would have been able to realize that without COVID.

On the downside, doctor’s appointments and baby showers looked a lot different, and in-person social interactions were pretty much non-existent. Some of the big moments that Justin and our family members couldn’t be present for were once in a lifetime and we won’t get back. You hear so many people talk about loneliness and isolation as a factor when you’re a new mom (more on that in a sec), and the pandemic gave me my first taste of that. I was also slightly on edge every time I was out in public, worried about whether the people around me were wearing their masks and wearing them properly.

I was careful and dodged all COVID exposures… until exactly 14 days before I went into natural labor. I wasn’t sick and tested negative, but regardless, this forced me to quarantine and miss those last few doctor’s appointments that I so badly wanted to attend, nearly altering my birth experience. I cried when my doctor told me they couldn’t see me until the 14 days were up and I felt like I did such a disservice to my baby. This was my first taste of mom guilt and I was truly angry at myself for not being more careful during those final weeks. It all ended up working out fine and I got to deliver my baby under “normal” conditions, but it was a very emotional time nonetheless.

Upon my daughter’s birth in November 2020, COVID restrictions and wanting to keep my baby safe prevented me from getting some support that I wanted and, retrospectively, probably needed. I had to take her to her doctor’s appointments alone before I felt I was ready, and I haven’t felt comfortable having friends over as freely and as frequently as I would have liked pre-COVID. You never really picture all of the closest people in your life having to meet your first child with masks on, but that’s our reality.

Getting out of the house is so good for the mental health of new moms, but we’ve chosen not to participate in non-essential exposure thus far (stores, inside of restaurants, etc.). Because of this, I’ve spent the first six months of motherhood in a cave, only leaving for essential/special occasions and second-guessing every decision I make and how it will affect my family’s health. Having to consider and incorporate these extra precautions, make tough decisions on what we’re comfortable and not comfortable with doing, on top of everything else that is on my plate as a working new mom, is incredibly exhausting.

To wrap this up, COVID has changed a lot of what I anticipated motherhood would look like. It brought negatives and unexpected positives (getting to work from home some, extra time with just Justin pre-baby). I encourage everyone to be gentle with new moms, and everyone, during the pandemic because we have a lot of difficult decisions to make that include the health of our children, and those decisions can make us feel so lonely and isolated as a result.

Fellow new moms: how do you feel your experience has been adjusting to motherhood during the pandemic? Feel free to leave a comment below!