Life Update: July 2019

I can’t believe it’s July already and that means I’m overdue for a life update. Summer is halfway over and it’s been a unique one for us being in our first house with our first puppy. I’ve had a lot of my plate lately and I’m ready to vent! 😂 Keep reading for everything I’ve been up to and feeling for the past couple months!

When I write these life update posts, I like to go back and read my most recent one to reflect on what’s changed since then. My last one was in April where I shared that I was in a bad headspace with blogging and now that I’m looking back at it, I’m sad to say this hasn’t improved much since then and has expanded to some other areas of my life as well.

To be real with you, I’ve been feeling very swamped and overwhelmed for the last month or two. Like, very. I feel like everything around me is moving 100 mph and I’m dragging behind, feeling so frazzled and disorganized. My mind has been so cluttered lately and I go to sleep most nights feeling stressed or guilty about things I was unable to accomplish (whether it be within my blogging career, freelance work, full-time desk job, marriage, tending to Lucia, etc.). I think I’ve taken on more than I can chew, especially since getting Lucia, and it’s been hard for me to accept that I’m just not in the right headspace and don’t have the time to do the things I’d like to. I hate telling people no and turning down opportunities to help others and grow my blog/freelance business, but it’s something I need to take a step back from in some ways, limit my number of clients and become more selective with my time because I honestly have to in order to stay sain. I may need to take up meditation or something… 🤣

Back to the blogging thing that I touched on in April, I’m no longer driven to go to blogging events and things like I used to be and I’m much more content being part of the industry from the comfort of my home. I get invited to things and there’s no spark in me driving me to go. Being a blogger socialite doesn’t feel like my vibe anymore (I’m not sure it ever was… actually I know it never was) and it’s been hard for me to accept that. I’ve honestly had weird inner guilt about it and I’m not sure why. Maybe I feel like I’m letting down my old self? I don’t know, blogging is a very personal thing for me that’s much bigger than attending events. That may sound antisocial, but it’s really just me, my camera and my computer that really fuel my passion. I’m continuing brand work for sure because that’s so fun for me, but you may not see me at gatherings any time soon. This could change, but that’s where I’m at right now.

I think another big part of the weird place I’m in with blogging is how much the whole “influencing” realm (you all know I barf at the world “influencer”) has changed since I started almost four years ago. Everybody and their mother wants to be an influencer and it SHOWS. Everyone seems to have an agenda and telling people that I’m a blogger doesn’t seem to have as unique (and pleasant) of a ring as it once did for some. This “canceled” culture that’s been so prevalent lately makes me hesitate to even share things sometimes and second-guess if making parts of my life public is even worth it. Being a private person is safer, that’s for sure.

These days, I’m content with going to work, spending time with family and blogging. As I mentioned, I’ve struggled a bit as I’m learning to be selective with how I spend my time because Lucia won’t always be this little and I really don’t want to miss a thing! I’m loving being her “mom” and watching her grow and learn every day. She consumes so much of my headspace now and really has become an extension of me in some ways. I would argue maybe in an unhealthy way at times since we were invited to travel out of town for the 4th this weekend and I honestly don’t think I can leave her (especially since she’s more of a handful right now not sleeping through the night)… but that’s a conversation for another day. 😬

As for the house, we’ve had some new additions here and there and I’m looking forward to focusing on painting the new doors Justin hung and revamping the bathrooms next. Justin‘s summer construction job is going well too. He comes home dirty and tired every day, so we’re often scrambling to tend to Lucia and quickly make dinner right when we get home — but we don’t mind! He’s learned some new skills that will be helpful in general, like bathroom reno and building decks. He says he’s glad he has something to keep him busy and get out of the house every day too until school starts back up. Can’t believe how fast it’s coming!

I’ll stop here before I talk your ear off. That’s how life has been lately and as always, thanks so much for taking the time to catch up with me. If you can relate to me on any of these things, especially with blogging and feeling overwhelmed with life, I’d love to hear from you. Enjoy the rest of your day!