Life Update: August 2022

ByAbby Saylor Armbruster

Hi friends! Long time no chat on here because I’ve been having trouble finding the time and mental capacity to blog like I want to. After a go-go-go summer with a very mobile toddler, let’s (finally) sit down and catch up!

OUR SUMMER

We spent 99.9% of our summer at home with Clay. We spent lots of time at the park, played with play-dough, colored, did LOTS of bubbles outdoors, went to the Children’s Museum a couple of times and visited with family. With Justin being off work for the summer, something that surprised me was how difficult it was for me to adjust to having daytime help. I’m so used to doing everything by myself until he gets home in the afternoon that I had to get used to having help with things all the time. I pictured myself being super productive this summer since I would have an extra set of hands, but I actually felt less productive. Having all the flex time made my work schedule much looser and made me feel less accomplished. I’m absolutely flabbergasted to say that my normal schedule feels far more productive because it forces me to really capitalize on the time I do have (AKA nap time).

CLAY UPDATE

She became a full-on toddler this summer and never stops moving. She’s quite the chatterbox too! She loves helping me with cleaning and laundry, and playing pretend with her play kitchen, cooking set and cleaning supplies. She can say so many words and phrases, and she loves to sing and dance in the mirror. Here are some of my favorite things she does lately:

  • Says “YELLOW!!!!” every time we ask her what color something is
  • Runs to the window to watch the school bus go by, saying “beep beep”
  • Says “bless you!” every time we sneeze
  • Says “thank you so much,” “please,” “can you help,” etc. (wow, very polite)
  • Loves swinging and squeals when you push her really high
  • Requests bubbles and bananas constantly
  • Sings Let It Go and lots of nursery rhymes from Ms. Rachel videos
  • Counts “1, 2, BYE” or 1, 2… 5, 6, 7″ on her fingers

BUSINESS

Check out my blog post on this here, but business is going great! It’s keeping me busy and I’m still trying to perfect my schedule and put better systems in place to make things easier and more streamlined. I recently updated my website (still working on adding a bit more) and I onboarded another new client last week.

GROWING OUR FAMILY

This is on my mind lately. Anybody else terrified to have a second baby?! I know how much love and joy a child brings, but I also know how much of a toll it takes on me as a woman, essentially for two years (pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding for a year). I think a lot of my fear and anxiousness comes from not feeling like I have my ducks in a row yet, like I would prefer to. This time around, I’m a year into running my own business and I’m a stay-at-home mom as well… two things I wasn’t juggling with when we had our first. My plate feels much fuller now than it did back in 2019/2020. My anxiety (something I didn’t struggle with at all until I became a mother) is hard at work, with my mind racing:

What will another pregnancy be like? How will my body handle it? How will I manage it while chasing around a toddler? What will taking care of two kids while running my own business look like? Can I do it? Would we be comfortable in our current home with two kids? What’s the right age gap? Will I regret getting pregnant too soon or waiting too long?

So many questions and SOOOO many things I need to stop worrying about. I just wanted to share where my head is at on this because deep down I know that I’m not alone, but no one seems to talk about this stuff.

OUR NEXT HOME

Knowing we will eventually outgrow our current house, we’ve been loosely looking this summer solely to get a better feel of what neighborhoods we like and what we are/aren’t looking for in our next home when we do decide to buy again. With how crazy the market is, we figured popping in on new listings here and there would be a good way to get a feel for different areas for when we’re ready to buy, because it would give us some knowledge and help us be able to pull the trigger faster, when needed. With how overpriced everything on the market feels these days, I didn’t expect to fall in love with anything… but oops, I did. A couple of months ago, we unintentionally stumbled upon a house that was perfect for us. I couldn’t have dreamed up a better house in our price range. It was a 4-bedroom ranch home (one level is superior, in my opinion) with a large private yard, open concept and big windows with an amazing floor plan. We thought “wait… can we make this happen?”

Since I’m self-employed, I haven’t been in business long enough (needs to be two years) for us to get reapproved for a mortgage. So there was nothing we could do. And let me tell ya, seeing your child happily run around a house knowing you can’t give it to them is 10 times more heartbreaking than it ever was pre-kids — and honestly, maybe even worse since this isn’t something we had prepared ourselves for at the time. The home felt like such a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity (I haven’t ever seen any homes like this in our price range before) that it was heartbreaking that we couldn’t even put in an offer. Major disappointment. So much of me would love a bigger home before we expand our family, but that may not be realistic.

MOTHERHOOD + MENTAL HEALTH

Ok, I admit it… I suck at taking care of myself. I put Clay and my clients first, and myself last, IF me and my own needs are even on the to-do list at all, to be honest. I’m learning that having alone time (that is NOT spent working, which is hard for me) is crucial for my mental health. I’ve been working on implementing a new schedule for myself that enforces self-care time and I’m already starting to see a difference in my mood and overall attitude. Working in the creative industry, I think it’s especially important to have time to recharge, not only for the benefit of my clients, but also as a mother and human being in general.

Oh, and another personal flaw: I avoid spending money on myself, especially when it comes to clothing (which has me looking rough most days). It’s easy to skip out on updating my wardrobe when I’m home all day with my baby and no one sees me, but as someone who has always loved fashion and looking good, doing so has made me feel like I’ve lost a huge part of myself. I got a great check from LTK affiliates last week (thank you to everyone who shops my links 🥺) and I told myself I could only spend it on clothes for me — and that’s exactly what I did. I’m so excited for everything to come in! Hopefully I’ll feel EVEN MORE like a new woman. 😉

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I think that random ramble sums it up, folks. As always, thank you for taking the time out of your day to visit my blog and read my posts. We’re coming up on the 7-year anniversary of when I started and I’m so grateful for the fun + community this outlet brings. Have a great week!