10 Ways I’ve Changed Since Becoming a Mother

Before becoming a mother, it’s safe to assume that it’s going to be a transformative experience, but now after experiencing it myself, I can confirm that I truly feel like a different person. The person I was before is now better in some ways, struggling more in other ways and even more confident in certain areas. Nine months into motherhood, I’m still trying to figure out who I am now and how I can best thrive under these new circumstances and characteristics. Identity crisis is an understatement, to say the least. Today’s post is a discussion on the 10 ways I’ve changed.

More emotional (high highs and low lows).
Emotionally, I’ve completely evolved. I always wondered how actors can manage to cry at the drop of a hat… and now I get it. I can think about something sad or sentimental and cry within seconds. I feel more in-tune with my emotions, and I suspect the postpartum and breastfeeding hormones have played a role in this. I’ve truly felt some of my highest highs and lowest lows this year since becoming a mom. The things that are amazing are SO AMAZING and the things that are tough are SO TOUGH. There is so much more to be joyful for now, but also so much more at stake that the rough patches can now feel earth-shattering.

New personal style.
To be frank, I hate all of my clothes. Part of that is because they’re all a season or two behind since I was pregnant last year and didn’t really buy anything new, and the other part is that none of them feel like me anymore. My needs for clothing have changed, as I now want to be comfortable and be able to crawl around on the floor in said outfit with my baby, but I also want to feel on-trend, elevated and my age. I’m also frugal and don’t want to buy a new wardrobe. You see the problem here.

More accepting and understanding of others.
This is a big one I’ve noticed, especially when it comes to careers and big life decisions people make for their families, as that is now something I’m so closely aligned with. For example, when I get a cold DM from a stranger who is trying to recruit me for their business, my annoyance has evolved into an understanding that everyone is just trying to provide for their family, work from home with their babies, or meet whatever their needs are. I get it. We’re all just doing what we can to get us where we need to be.

More love for my parents.
Now knowing what it takes to be a parent, it’s opened my eyes further to understand everything my parents have done and sacrificed for me on a daily basis. You may think you understand before, but you can’t fully grasp it until you become a parent yourself.

Foggy mind.
My brain? At capacity. At all times. If I don’t write it down, it’s gone forever. I have to work off of a to-do list every day and I heavily rely on Clay’s Baby Tracker app to know what time she needs to do basically anything. I find it hard to engage in conversation some days because my brain is so clogged with my personal needs, all of Clay’s needs, my work schedule, household chores, etc. My mind used to be so much sharper.

Better at multi-tasking.
Because I always have to do multiple things at once in order to get anything done, I’ve gotten so much better at multi-tasking. Most of my days consist of playing with Clay, eating, throwing laundry in the washer and answering client emails simultaneously.

More anxious.
I’ve never really be an anxious person, until I got pregnant. Since then, I find there are times of the day or night where I really just need to pause and take a breather in order to proceed effectively. ASMR videos have been game changing for me when it comes to relaxation and turning off my brain for a bit.

More drive and willing to fight for what I want/need.
Having a baby really puts things into perspective, helping me to realize what’s important and what I need in order to have a happy and successful future. I’ve always been one to shy away from asking for what I want and need, but that’s improved so much since I had Clay. I think it helps that I have someone else to advocate and care for, so it’s not just making improvements for my own life like it it was pre-motherhood, it’s for the well-being of my child too.

Lost some of my self worth, yet gained some too?
This is a tricky one and I’m curious if fellow moms relate. I spend so many days feeling “ugly” (I hate saying that, but I’m just being honest here) because my hair and makeup aren’t done and I haven’t had time to shower yet, yet I can feel so accomplished sometimes because my baby is happy and I’ve managed to cross some things off my to-do list. It’s a weird back and forth of feeling like a kick-ass mom some days and a total failure other days, usually because I didn’t get as much work done as I wanted to or I didn’t have time to brush my hair (lol). It’s a rollercoaster and I never know how the day is going to go! However, I do know that I need to be kinder to myself.

More eager to seek relationships and find connection.
I crave having others to relate to more than ever. I don’t have friends who are moms or who are going through this whole business building thing like I am either, so I often feel like I don’t have anyone to talk to about it who can relate and fully understand. Also, motherhood can feel lonely sometimes. However, I have connected with some really sweet moms on Instagram and I’m much more open to reaching out to people online now than I ever was before.

For those of you who have also recently gone through the transition into motherhood, in what ways have you felt you’ve changed from your previous self? For better or worse? Though my life is “harder” now, it’s also so much better and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Clay is the best part of my life and she has given me so much motivation and drive to be the best me I can be. 🤍