Have you been turned down for something you really wanted? Has life ever felt like a dreadful series of “no thank you’s?” Do you find yourself dwelling during these low times? Today’s post opens a discussion on rejection: something we all face, but don’t want to admit to or talk about. Keep reading for my story on how I strive to utilize rejection and let downs, as difficult as they may be, for growth.
Yes, getting told “no” sucks.
Let’s not beat around the bush — it’s awful, and in my opinion, it never fully gets “easier.” When you want something so badly and can’t quite grab it, it’s incredibly frustrating and a huge let down. Rejection affects you mentally and emotionally, and can be the absolute worst news at a time in your life when you’re in need of a boost. The more you expand your reach and pursue opportunities, the more you open your life to the possibility of rejection.
Reflecting back, I’m reminded that I’ve been very blessed to live a life of few trials and hardships. Transitions and positive change have come naturally to me without exponential effort, which is something I’ve unknowingly taken for granted until recently. You truly have no idea how you’ll handle adversity until you have to, and I’ve been surprised to learn that I may not be as steel-strong as I may have thought — I’m human. We all are. I’ve surprised myself, both positively and negatively, these past few months. We all feel down on ourselves sometimes and doubt our abilities, but the important thing is that we pick ourselves back up and try again. And again, and again.
I’ve wiped away wet eyes more than I’d like to admit the past couple months, wondering what to do, where to go next and how to pick myself back up. Life has taught me a lot of lessons recently, most of which I wish I could have skipped. These new challenges I’ve been facing have forced me to teach myself how to handle rejection, try to remain incessantly positive, pick myself back up and keep moving forward. Yes, rejection hurts like a mother, but there are ways to rise above it.
Though you can’t control rejection, you can control how you react to it.
What is your immediate reaction upon rejection? Do you feel misunderstood, defensive, insulted, sad, angry, or do you just brush it off and move on? If you’re like me, you react differently to each rejection that comes your way depending on how badly you wanted a “yes” and how high you set your expectations for it. Something I’ve learned in the pursuit process is that you should never set your expectations too high — it’s okay to recognize that you really want something, but I’ve found a lot of disappointment in telling myself I’m going to get something, later followed by it not happening. I’m a big believer in putting out positive vibes for something you want, but at the same time, stay grounded.
Don’t let rejection shake your confidence.
I’m struggling with this one more than ever before right now. I can typically bounce back with ease from a “no” or two here and there, but a series of no’s has knocked me down a few notches — more than I ever expected. I’ve gained so much confidence in myself over the past few years that I never expected rejection to truly shake me… and I hate to admit that it has. Feeling down on yourself and second-guessing your strengths and abilities can be debilitating. This prevents you from wanting to get back up and try again, which is a mindset that’s absolutely crucial in moving forward. Remember your value and keep in mind that rejection can be a blessing in disguise.
Come up with a pick-me-up strategy or routine.
To begin to alter your immediate reaction to rejection, come up with a method to help pick yourself up after. First and foremost, I think it’s incredibly important to note that your feelings are valid. Initial achy emotions are totally normal, but how you channel those feelings is crucial. How can this rejection benefit you moving forward? What lessons has it taught you? Are you better off going in a different direction anyway? Though it’s hard to believe this in the moment, what wasn’t given to you wasn’t meant for you.
How do you overcome rejection? I encourage you to share your thoughts (or tips — I know myself and others could use them!) in a comment below. I hope these words connected with you in some way & keep your head up! What’s meant to be will find its way. If you enjoy this type of content, read my previous “Let’s Talk” posts here.
Thank you for stopping by the blog today and I hope you have a great weekend! Justin and I are off to an Addams Family play/musical tonight with Carrie + Gary, which I’m excited about! We saw the same school do The Little Mermaid last year and it was so good — I plan to share a bit of our weekend on my Instagram story, so look out for that!