Let’s Talk: Haters and Negativity

Let's Talk Haters and Negativity

As cliché as the word “haters” is, it’s an accurate way to describe those people we each have popping into our heads as we’re reading this right now. For some us it may be a set of specific people, whereas the rest of us simply picture a nonspecific general group. Today I’m opening up a discussion on haters and negativity by sharing my experience with it, how to deal with it (especially on social media) and what their negative words really mean.

WHY THIS TOPIC?

I’ve been wanting to do a post like this for months, but it took me a while to figure out how I wanted to approach it. Though I generally receive a microscopic amount of negativity, I thought this was an important topic to discuss when so many of us are affected by it on a day-to-day basis. I’ve seen a few people on social media share their hater-experiences recently, so I declared now to be the time to bring the topic to the surface here on my blog.

The truth is that we live in a world where we feel the need to have to clarify that we’re “not bragging,” we’re often afraid to step on each other’s toes or unintentionally annoy people on social media, etc. Though we should always be considerate of others’ feelings, we shouldn’t have to hesitate to talk about the happiness and accomplishments in our lives. We should never have to live in fear of what other people are going to say about us. As I’ve said in previous posts, people are just people, and sometimes criticism is inevitable, unfortunately. If you’re putting yourself out there, people are going to talk, and some of them are going to choose to send the comments to you verbally or on social media, directly or indirectly. We’ve all been there.

LET’S GET PERSONAL

It wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t share that I too receive negativity — so let’s peek into that can of worms. I want you to know that you’re not alone, and if you are an individual with expressed interests and passions (aka you’re a living, breathing human being), you’ll receive negativity. For example, I had an old friend and classmate subtweet me (definition: a post on Twitter that refers to a particular user without directly mentioning them, typically as a form of furtive mockery or criticism), which was completely unwarranted, bashing the topics I choose to blog about. I saw the tweet, just like she was hoping I would.

My mom told me this as a young girl, and I believe it still rings true for all of us to this day: nine times out of ten when people criticize you, it’s coming from a place of jealously or feelings of inferiority. After all, what could possibly drive someone to comment about you, especially publicly, if it wasn’t driven from a place much stronger than a simple feeling of “dislike?”

When we simply dislike something, we just ignore it and don’t pay attention to it, especially online. If someone is posting about a topic that’s not of interest to us and that we don’t relate to, we keep on scrolling. It’s when that “dislike” turns into choosing to make public comments that the real ugly green monster comes out. Rather than expressing the “dislike” that they think they’re expressing, they’re actually blatantly showing the opposite — which is that they care enough to take time out of their day to pay attention to what you’re doing, draft up a hateful post and publish it. Congratulations to those of us on the receiving end, because even though these “haters” think they’re saying the opposite, they just proved that you are in fact worth their time. You must be doing something right.

WHAT PEOPLE SAY ABOUT YOU SAYS A LOT MORE ABOUT THEM THAN IT DOES ABOUT YOU

Seriously, plaster this quote on your ceiling because this is something you’ll never want to forget. People’s negative words are often a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves. Their words used to try to pick you apart truly pick them apart instead. These comments show their true colors, which aren’t pretty, unfortunately.

My heart hurts for those affected by hate comments, but don’t let them get to you. These negative people are hoping you’ll respond and that you’ll be knocked down a few pegs, so don’t let them win. I suggest not replying to them because it’s simply not worth your time. There’s a fine line between standing up for yourself and being the bigger person, so when it’s an indirect comment like I received above, simply ignore it. Move along with your day and don’t give people of that mindset a second of your time. Keep in mind that their negativity may be stemming from problems in their personal life that you don’t know about.

With all of this being said, stand tall and be proud of who you are and what you do. Embrace your individualism and always strive to be the bigger person. When someone bashes something that you love to do and that makes you happy, turn the other cheek. Spread positivity and don’t add to the negativity by choosing to respond harshly back to it, because it’s likely you’ll regret doing so later on.

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How do you deal with “haters” and negativity? Share your thoughts by leaving a comment below. If you’re ever in need of advice or simply someone to talk to, please send me a message and I’d be happy to speak with you. If you enjoyed this post, you can catch up on my previous Let’s Talk posts here. Thank you for reading and have a happy Wednesday, everyone! Go give someone a compliment. 🙂

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6 Comments

  1. March 22, 2017 / 8:49 am

    Go get em, girl!

    • March 22, 2017 / 10:22 am

      Haha thanks Carrie, you know it! 🙂

  2. Caitlin
    March 23, 2017 / 6:49 pm

    Thanks for this post! I think we all really needed to hear this. I try my hardest to ignore the hate, but it’s one of the hardest things we humans have to do sometimes. We just gotta let it go. Thanks for this inspo, and for all your wonderful friends! 💙

    • March 26, 2017 / 11:09 am

      Hi Caitlin! I totally agree, it’s tough knowing that hate is something we’ll always have to deal with, but that doesn’t mean that we have to let it define us — and it helps knowing that we’re not alone. Thank you so much for reading and commenting! 🙂

  3. March 26, 2017 / 10:09 am

    Abby your blog is my new obsession. Great post

    • March 26, 2017 / 11:10 am

      Aww, hi Sia! You just made my day. 🙂 Thank you soooo much!