10 Questions To Ask Before Saying ‘I Do’
Your engagement is an exciting and fast-paced time, but before you tie the knot, it's important to discuss a few key elements of your marriage and your future together. Here are 10 topics to discuss with your fiancé before getting hitched!
Do we want kids, and if so, how many?
This is an obvious one. This is something you'll figure out as time goes on as you build your life together, but it's important to ask your partner what they initially have in mind so you can strive to be on the same page.
How do you want our children (if we have any) to be raised?
This branches off the last question, but start a discussion on family values, disciplinary guidelines, etc. You'll want to know what your partner is thinking before you join forces and start the journey of parenthood.
Do you want our children to be brought up following a religion, and if so, which?
Enough said.
…Name changes?
This is a simple, yet important topic. Do you want to use his/her last name when you get married, or do you want to keep your own? Do you want to use both, possibly with a hyphen? For some this is an easy choice to make but others find it necessary to consider the options. Discuss what each of you prefer.
How do we want to handle our finances?
This is crucial, people! Do you want to funnel both of your incomes into one joint account, or do you wish to keep your own? Would you like to have your 0wn and then transfer combined expenses into a joint account for specific items/payments? Again, there are a few options to choose from and everything will run more smoothly if you come to an agreement.
Where do you see yourself living in the future?
It's important to build a life together in which both of you are getting what you want. You could run into some issues if one of you wants to move out of the country and the other plans to stay put in their hometown for good. Opinions can evolve and change over time, but it's important to be open about where your head is at.
What do you want our living space to be like?
If you haven't lived together before, this is a subject you'll need to touch on. Are you messy or tidy? How often do you like to clean, change the sheets, wash dishes, etc.? If you get an idea of how your significant other likes to live before you start sharing a space, the transition will be smoother and you'll eliminate the possibly of unwanted (and messy) surprises. ;)
What are your career goals?
Knowing what your partner has in mind for their future individually helps you to support them and grow with them in an appropriate way. Learning what your partner has in mind for the next few steps in their career helps you to not only know what is in store for them, but also gives you the opportunity to motivate them and keep them on track to accomplish their goals -- after all, you're about to be each other's #1 cheerleader for LIFE! :)
What role do you see yourself (and myself) having in our marriage?
Do you plan to be a stay-at-home parent or work full-time? Do you wish to carry out certain household duties, but not others? Do you want to split everything 50/50? Discuss what role you envision yourself and your significant other playing in your marriage to see how your views align, then adjust accordingly.
What family traditions do you want to uphold / how do you wish to spend our holidays?
If there are certain holiday traditions that you've done with your family your whole life that you would like to uphold, make it known. This will make scheduling family time around holiday activities much easier for both of you and will ensure that you're each getting to follow through with your traditions. In addition to that, you'll get to start making your own traditions with each other!
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Thank you for reading and I hope you found this to be helpful! Be sure to check out my other engagement/wedding related posts here on my blog and on IndyBride2B.com. Follow me on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook for more frequent updates!
*photo by Caitlin French